


They Were Always On the Same Page

by hidernotseeker



Category: Captain America - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2018-06-08 18:34:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6868714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hidernotseeker/pseuds/hidernotseeker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Winter Soldier was being hunted down by Hydra. Natalia tried everything in her power to save him but could she save herself in the process. Cap3 spoilers</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Where is the Winter Soldier,” a man repeated for what felt like the millionth time. 

“I already told you, I don’t know where he is.” 

“And we know that you are lying. We want to know where the Winter Soldier is.”  
It didn’t matter how many times the guy asked. There was no way in hell she was going to give up James. She knew they were coming that night but she also knew they both wouldn’t get away, so Natalia sent him away. They were easier to track together. She needed him to be the one that got away. For him all it took were a few stupid words and he would come undone. Natalia at least did not have that program and she could deal with any torture. Anything besides watching James beat himself up over the things he’d done, that broke her heart every time. 

Natalia knew that it had to be her who Hydra took so she told him that Steve needed him and that it was urgent and he sounded upset. But that she wasn’t sure what was going on and to make sure that no one saw him on his way there. She knew James was completely invisible when he wanted to be. This was a time he needed to be. His life depended on it. 

She left him a message on the fridge that she knew only he would understand. A few fridge magnets that to anyone else looked like they might have been randomly thrown on there but not to James. He would figure it out. She knew he would. All it took was an “IMSHH”, mashed up together. I’m sorry. Hail Hydra. 

She hadn’t uttered the words “Hail Hydra” in decades but she needed him to know where she was. 

“We have ways of making you talk, Widow,” the man threatened.

“Well you’ve been trying those for about two weeks,” Natalia spat back at him. “I wish you luck.” 

She was trained by these exact people to not tell secrets under this exact form of torture. It was if she was reading out of the textbook she knew what was going to happen before it even did. 

The water and the electricity were the worst and when they got mixed together it was almost unbearable. When she passed out her captures refused to accept that and would wake her with smelling salts. They wanted James but she refused to give him up. No one or no thing could make her give that man up. She’d follow him the ends of the earth. Hell, she’d had kill for him and him her. 

“It’s ironic don’t you think, that took James away from me. You froze him and made him into a man I barely recognized. You took everything away from me and you expect me to grateful and help you find him. Go fuck yourself,” she growled at them. “I knew you were coming, one of your agents slipped up in the market so I sent him away. I saved him, something you are incapable of doing regardless of what you tell your recruits.” 

“Are you done,” her captor asked. 

“Does it matter?” 

“No, Miss Romanova. It does not matter. You will tell us. It just a matter of time.” 

“You keep telling yourself that.” 

She felt the piecing pinch in her side but as she was tied to a mental chair that was bolted to the ground, she had nowhere to go. She looked to her side as a young girl stuck a knife in it but she refused to scream. She wouldn’t give them the satisfaction. It hurt like hell and took every fiber of her being not to scream but she refused. She winced sure but not a single scream escaped her lips. 

They finally let her have a moment of piece that Natalia used to fall asleep, it felt like it was the first time in days. To her knowledge it could have been. They kept her locked in a basement with no windows; nothing to give her an idea of what time is was, what day it was. 

“Babe,” a voice woke her. “Come on, let’s go home.” 

Slowly she regained consciousness and in front of her was a face she wasn’t sure if she would ever see again. It wasn’t real; there was no way he was here. There were no guards in sight and from what she could see they weren’t lying unconscious or dead on the ground. “No,” she muttered trying to pull away from him. 

“No what? Nat, come on. We’ve got a short window here.” 

“You can’t be here. It’s a trick, so I tell them where the real you is. It’s not you,” she repeats. 

“Nat, it’s me. It’s really me. You got to believe me.” He freed her right arm placing her hand on his cheek while he went to work on the rest of her bonds. “You can feel my skin. It’s me.” 

“No, I won’t tell you.”

“Natalia, it’s James.”

“Prove it,” she spits in his face. 

“Your first mission was to St. Petersburg, you killed a 47 year old man named Alexander. He was a stock trader.” 

“That’s in my file. You’re not James.” 

“I’m working on it,” he spit and it took her a second to realize he’s not talking to her. He’s got a unit in and is talking to a team. “She doesn’t think I’m me. She thinks it’s a Hydra mind-trick…Well I can’t exactly blame her. They would do that.” 

“Go away. It can’t be you.” By now the tears had started to stream down her face. More than anything she wanted James to come and rescue her but she knew the likelihood of that was small when she sent him away. She sealed her fate and now Hydra was just playing with her for one last-ditch attempt at getting to James.

“Your favorite flowers are peonies but you don’t like to have them in the house because the smell reminds you of funerals. You love Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin. You refuse to call me Bucky or Buck. It’s always James and even before that you wouldn’t call me Winter Soldier. You wouldn’t call me anything except Tin Man until you found out my real name and the first time I told you that I loved you was after a mission in Volgograd.” 

“James? ” Natalia breathed almost in relief. There was no way anyone else knew those things. It had be him. 

“Oh thank god,” he exclaimed. “Cause if that didn’t convince you I didn’t have much else in my bag of tricks.”

“Where is everyone?” she asked. 

“They’re covering the exits right now.” 

“I meant Hydra,” she corrected him as he finally broke the last tie trapping her to the chair. 

“Don’t worry about it. We need to go.” 

“I feel like I should be worried about it.” 

“Nat, I just need you to focus.”

Natalia went to stand but the current knife wound on her side caused her to almost topple over in pain. Thankful for his superhuman reflexes James caught her before she could hit the ground. The cool metal of his arm felt good for a second before it felt like it was cutting into her. “What’s wrong? What happened?” 

“Side,” she muttered. 

“What the hell did they do to you?” 

“I don’t know. I blocked most of it out.” 

“Can you walk out of here?” 

“What does the path look like?” 

“Mostly clear with many a bump or two along the way.” 

“Gun,” she stated. It wasn’t a question if he had one, she needed one. Nat knew she would be able to get out of there if she had a gun in her hands. No one could stop her then, especially with James with her. 

“Fantastic,” he chuckled, tossing one over to her. 

“Lead the way.” 

“There’s a door on the right. Then turn left. Barton is covering the roof, Steve and Sam are somewhere.” He turned checking before them before quickly tapping his ear twice. “Let’s make a timely exit gentlemen.” 

Everything was in slow motion, as if it was a dream. They came across a soldier in the hallway and before she could even get a shot off, James had already thrown a knife dropping him to the ground. “This is quieter,” he whispered. “Let’s not let them all know where we are if we don’t have too.” 

“Then why did you give me a gun?” 

“In case it was completely necessary,” James grunted, taking the knife out of the now dead soldier. “Let’s go.” 

Somehow solely based on magic or the skills of her highly trained friends, Nat and James were able to walk out of the compound without seeing any other soldiers. She figured that Steve and Sam had basically taken care of their exit route. Finally out in the sun she turned around to be able to see James, to actually see him. 

“You knew,” he growled. “You knew and you send me to Steve’s.” 

“We both wouldn’t have made it out of there. It couldn’t be you. I couldn’t let you go back there.” 

“So let yourself go back?! It wasn’t exactly great times for you in there either.” 

“I could handle it!” 

“And I couldn’t?!” 

“I don’t have words like you do. I couldn’t let them do that to you. I just got you back,” she cries. 

“Three weeks Nat. It took us three weeks to find you. You’re not fine. I know what happens in there better than anyone.”

“I…I’m.” As if the gods wants to play some cruel joke she started to spin, the ground getting closer and closer with each second. 

“Yeah, you’re fine,” James muttered, catching her for the second time in only a few minutes.


	2. Chapter Two:

“You can’t keep me out here,” Bucky yelled, halfheartedly trying to break through the line of agents standing in front of him. 

“Buck, that’s enough!” Steve growled sitting in an uncomfortable green waiting room chair. “They need to make sure the knife didn’t nick anything important. She’s fine.” 

“They don’t know how her body works. With the serum, they have no idea what they’re doing!” Out of frustration Bucky kicked the chair sending it flying across the room. It shattered against the far wall and the agents all reached for their weapons. 

“I said that’s enough,” Steve screamed this time. “All of you calm down. He’s fine. Bucky, sit down and stop breaking things. They’ll let you see her when there done.” 

“I’m sorry,” Bucky exclaimed. “I just-”

“I know,” Steve said putting his hand on his shoulder. “For the record, these guys specialize in us. The super humans. They worked on me last time I got real banged up. She will be just fine.” 

“Good God what happened here?” The voiced startled both of them and Steve instantly stands up, the ever-pleasing soldier. 

“Sir,” Steve said to the Colonel. 

He didn’t want to but Bucky knew better than to piss this man off, at least not right now. After a quick discreet eye roll, Bucky stood up facing him. “Fury.” 

“Mr. Barnes, something tells me you are responsible for the broken chair,” Fury grumbled. 

“Well,” Bucky started but Steve cut him off, worried of what might come out of his mouth. 

“You know Buck, Sir. Sometimes he forgets how strong he is.” 

“Of course,” Fury mumbled unconvincingly. “So what do you we know?” 

“Nothing,” Bucky spit. “Your line of monkeys will not let me through.” 

“Not like that’s ever stopped you previously,” Fury challenged. “How long has she been in there?” 

“An hour and twenty-two minutes,” Bucky replied. Both Steve and Fury turned almost on a dime stunned by the very specific number. “It keeps me calm. They’re worried about internal organs, that the knife punctured something. I already tried telling them that her cells would handle it, but no one here listens to me.” 

“Forgive us, that we don’t want to let her life hang in the balance of just taking you on your word,” one of the agents muttered. 

“What did you say,” Buck yelled already taking a step towards him. 

“Stop it!” Luckily Steve was quick, taking ahold of his arm and tossing him back into a chair. “Look we all care about Nat, okay? We all want the best for her and right now that includes staying calm and waiting for her to be done. She’ll kill me if you get detained in the time she has surgery.” 

“Detaining him might not be an awful idea,” the same agent said. 

“I’d like to see you try,” Buck challenged. 

That thankfully seemed to end the discussion between all of them as they sat patiently in the waiting room. 

When the door opened almost every single person in that room was up on their feet. “Um Mr. Barnes and Mr. Rogers?” 

Bucky wasn’t even sure how is feet moved that fast but he was in front of the doctor in a matter of a few steps. “How is she?” 

“She fine,” the doctor assured them. “She’s still knocked out. We don’t know exactly how her system will handle the anesthetic but if it’s anything like Steve’s then she’ll be out for about an hour or so.” 

“So what happened with the cut?” 

“There was some tearing in her abdominal wall from the knife, whoever put that in her had no regard for her life. They were about three inches away from doing some serious damage.” 

Bucky started to ball his hands down at his side and out of the corner Steve can see is happening. Bucky’s hand was balled so tightly that his knuckles started to turn white. 

“But she’s okay?” Buck asked again. 

“Well we had to go in and open back up the wound cause her healing had closed most of it but yes she’s going to be okay. With her healing maybe a few days till she’s back to one hundred percent. If she’s anything like you she’s going to be really out of it when she wakes up,” the doctor said nodding to Steve. 

“Can I see her, please?” Buck’s voice honestly hurt Steve’s heart. He knew Bucky, he knew Buck blamed himself for all of this. He was hoping that Natalia would be able to talk him off of that ledge. She usually was able to but all drugged up might be interesting. 

“Oh, of course, I’m so sorry,” the doctor laughed. “She’s in 545.” 

Bucky didn’t even wait to see if the doctor had anything else to say, all he wanted to see Nat. He was worried when she passed out, he’s never seen her do that before. Plus she only half came back into consciousness on the way to the hospital that Steve insisted they take her too. In the end he was probably right but he never knew a time where Nat needed a hospital. 

He quietly opened the door and there she was and it felt as if a train had been lifted off of him. She looked like the little girl that Bucky trained back in the day when she slept – so calm and almost innocent. He wasn’t sure if Natalia could ever look innocent but this was as close it could possibly get.

“What did they do to you,” Bucky whispered, pulling up a chair next to her bed. He wasn’t going to move until she woke up, nothing could move him. 

“Hey,” Steve whispered quietly opening the door. “She looks good, all things considered.” 

“Yeah, she does,” Bucky laughed.

“She’s strong. She’ll bounce right back.” 

“Mr. Barnes,” Fury boomed from the door. “A word?” 

“Whatever you have to say, I’m sure that it could wait.” Bucky didn’t care that he was being rude or pissing off the very people who depending on the day wanted to lock him up. All he cared about was Nat.

“I’d prefer to have this conversation before Natasha wakes up.” 

“Natalia,” Bucky corrected under his breath. 

“A word.” 

Judging by Fury’s body language Bucky didn’t think he had much of a choice in this conversation. He could have put him in the ground, told him to fuck off, done anything but he knows Nat wouldn’t want that. “Get me if she wakes,” Bucky growled to Steve. 

“Of course,” Steve mumbled back. 

“What do you want, Fury?”

“I want to know how you found her.” 

“Excuse me?” 

“How did you find Natasha?” 

Bucky hated when anyone called her Natasha, that wasn’t her name – at least not to him. It was Natalia; it was always Natalia. He thought that Fury knew how much he hated it too and then purposefully said it. It made Bucky want to punch him in the face. 

“I spent three weeks, barely sleeping and tracking the known Hydra agents.” 

“And there it is.” 

“What?” 

“Known Hydra agents. You know of Hydra agents in Washington?” 

“Yes. I do.”

“And you didn’t find that appropriate to report?” 

“Considering that every time I try to help SHIELD, I either end up shot at, stabbed or locked up, I stopped bringing things to your attention.” 

“So instead you let dangerous people run around and possibly cost lives of my people.” 

“I never said they weren’t handled.” 

“So instead you running unsanctioned missions.” 

“Jesus fucking Christ, Fury,” Bucky yelled louder than he meant to. “You just said you don’t want these people running around and neither do I. If they spot either Nat or me we’re screwed. Which is basically what happened a three weeks ago. I’ve been ‘taking care’ of this problem for a while now.” 

“Does she know?” 

“Nat? Of course she knows. I don’t lie to her, unlike some people I know.” 

“And what do you mean by that?” Fury snarled. 

“She told me that when she was first taken in she spent a year trying to find me. That then she was told to give up because I was dead,” Bucky screamed. He didn’t care if the entire floor heard him. He was livid at Fury for more than just one reason and it was finally time to let it out. “You personally told her to move on. That I was dead, killing during a mission! Turns out that you hadn’t told Steve that I was even still alive and you couldn’t have Steve distracted so you told her I died. Do you even deny it?” 

“No,” Fury replied. “I don’t. She was still too attached to Russia, to you and they were going to go on a mission together soon. Neither one knew that the other knew and I was going to keep it that way.” 

“You bastard,” Bucky spat. 

“She needed to let you go. She needed to let Hydra go. What better way to motivate her than telling her you were dead and on a mission no less. It motivated her.” 

“It broke her!” 

“I did what I did to make her the best that I could.” 

“She was the best before you ever got your claws into her.” 

“I don’t like you Barnes,” Fury said. His eye was piecing as if it cut through Bucky’s soul. 

Only Fury didn’t know that Bucky’s soul was gone a long time ago, nothing Fury did would intimidate Bucky. “The feeling is mutual.” 

“If were up to me, you’d be rotting in a cell a mile below a the ground for your crimes.” 

“Seeing as how I’m still standing, I’ll take my chances,” Bucky taunted. 

 

“You might have convinced everyone else, but you will never convince me. No matter what you do, no matter who you save. I’m just waiting for the day I get to slap some cuffs on you.” 

“You’ll be waiting quite a long time. Now if you’ll excuse me,” Bucky turned done with the conversation. Fury made his blood boil in a way that not many people could. It was fine that he was waiting for Bucky to mess up. Bucky knew as long as he had Natalia, as long as he had Steve – he’d be okay.


	3. Chapter Three:

“That sounded like a fun talk,” Steve joked as Bucky walked back in through the doors. 

“I don’t know how you work for that man.” 

“It’s not exactly like I had an option in the matter.” 

“He doesn’t trust me,” Buck said, changing the topic. He knew Steve wouldn’t push it out of him but he wanted to know what had just happened. “I think he thinks I’m still working with Hydra.” 

“Did he say that?” 

“Not in so many words.” 

“Believe it or not he is trying to do what’s best. He just doesn’t always know how to go about it.” 

“Yeah, that’s what I keep hearing.” 

“Was that true?” 

“Was what true?” Buck asked looking over at Steve, with this conversation that literally could have meant anything. 

“Did SHIELD lie to her and I guess to me?” 

“Yes. Fury told her I died on a mission so that she would let me go. Apparently the two of you were going on a mission and they didn’t want the topic to come up, especially since you didn’t even know about the whole Winter Soldier thing at the time.” 

“That’s incredibly messed up,” Steve huffed. Bucky couldn’t tell a hundred percent what was going on in Steve’s head but it looked like he was about to explode. 

“Welcome to SHIELD,” Bucky laughed. 

“I meant to ask you, a long time ago. What’s the deal with you and Nat?” 

“What do you mean the deal? I thought it was pretty obvious,” Buck laughed. 

“No, I mean in Hydra. How did you two…” Steve stopped mid sentence not even sure how to phrase such a question.   
“Fall in love? Is that what your asking?” 

“I guess just all of it. No one knows and everyone is too afraid to ask.” 

“Why?” 

“You know, that whole highly trained assassin thing, might have something to do with it,” Steve joked. 

“I was training a new group when she walked in. Even then as mindless and obedient as I was, I remember thinking how beautiful she was. I didn’t think that she was going to last long. The pretty one’s usually don’t.”

“Do I even want to know what happens with the ones who don’t make it?” 

Bucky shook his head back and forth at Steve. He wished he didn’t know that answer but unfortunately he knew it all too well. “She was bi-lingual when she came in; English and Russian. From day one she just excelled; even for someone so tiny. When we would spare, I would kick the hell out of her. I mean I hit her hard, Steve. Full power with the arm and she would get back up.” 

“I don’t know many people that could do that,” Steve whispered. “Even today. Was it post serum?” 

“No, that was pre-serum. I had never seen someone react like that. The more that time went on I realized she was there for me. She was careful in front of the handlers but when it was just me and her; she was a different person. She refused to call me soldier or Winter Soldier, which every other trainee called me. Instead she called me Tin Man,” Bucky started to laugh recalling the first time she said it. “It took me by surprise. No one had a sense of humor in that place but Nat.” 

“So then you fell in love like some sappy movie?” Steve joked. 

“No, uh then they took her,” Bucky corrected. “They took her for the serum and when she came back she uh…she wasn’t herself. Not at first at least. She was almost a robot. Not one smile. Not one stolen glance. Not even a Tin Man. It’s like she was empty. I knew what they did to the men in the Red Room, but I didn’t know what they did to the women. Up until that day I never wanted to know. But seeing Nat like that, it ate me up. I had to know so I asked sit on a new session.” 

“And…?” 

“I’ll never be able to unsee the things that I saw in that room, Steve. I thought that the men’s Red Room was tough, no. It had nothing on the women’s. They took everything away from them. Everything. They did things that…” Bucky paused running his hand through his thick brown hair. “Things that will affect them for the rest of their lives. I thought that I lost her. I didn’t think she would ever be her after seeing that. But thankfully it just took some time for her to start coming back.” 

“She called me Tin Man during a training session, just quiet enough that I could hear her and then told me I was pulling my punches,” Bucky started to laugh and Steve was trying to follow the story. “She was right, I was pulling my punches. I didn’t want to hurt her but she knew the wrong people were watching and she pushed me. I spared with her harder than anyone else in my life. I was worried that I broke her jaw at one point. Thankfully the serum took over and we were almost even, power wise. She was always quicker than I was.” 

“So then what? Then the sappy love story?” 

“I mean more or less. Our story was more of secret nights and messages that only the two of us would understand but yeah same basic principle.” 

“Wow,” Steve muttered staring straight ahead. He couldn’t even begin to fathom what the two of them went through just to be with each other. 

“Yeah, that’s a word that we could use for it.” 

“James?” The voice was soft barely above a whisper but he heard it right away. 

Bucky didn’t care that he and Steve were in the middle of a somewhat serious conversation. That could wait; they could talk about it any time. 

“Hey sleeping beauty,” James teased.

“What happened?” 

“What’s the last thing that you remember?” James questioned. 

“Peonies.” 

“Peonies?” Steve questioned staring at her as if she had spoken Latin. 

“And Jane Austen.” 

James broke out into laughter next to him and Steve couldn’t help but think that he missed something. 

“The doctors did say that she was going to be out of it when she woke up,” Steve reminded him. 

“No,” he chuckled. “She’s fine.”

“Steve,” she whispered. “Is that your dulcet tone I hear?” 

“Yeah, I’m here Nat.” 

“Who’s all here?” 

“Just the three of us,” James assured her. “Fury is outside somewhere and I sent Sam and Barton back to SHIELD.”

“Fury?” Almost as if someone had shocked her, Natalia tried to sit up in the bed. 

“Hey, that’s enough of that. Lay back down. He’s fine. I already spoke with him. Everything’s okay,” James almost hushed her. 

“You…you talked to him?” 

There was something in their stare that Steve now knew for sure that he was missing something. The panic in Nat’s voice from just finding out that Fury was here, something was going on with the three of them. Steve just wasn’t sure what it was yet.

“Yes, I did. Everything is handled. Okay? Go back to sleep.” 

“Sleep is for children,” Natalia said. James hated and loved when she got like this, although the dose of morphine in her system was going to make it all the more interesting. Natalia was always a stubborn person but recently attacked Natalia was an entirely different game all together. 

“Then pretend you’re one for me.” 

“Steve,” Nat whispered cutting James off. “Not that I don’t love you but can you give us a second.” 

“Oh, yeah absolutely. I’ll watch the door.” 

“Come here,” Nat said patting the bed next to her. 

“There is no room for me up there. We’ve tried this before,” James joked, intertwining their fingers. “This will have to do for now.” 

“What did Fury want?” 

“He wanted to know how I found you. I swear Nat, he thinks I’m still Hydra.” 

“He can think anything he wants, I know you’re not. Steve knows you’re not.” 

“I know. It’s just frustrating. How many times do I have to prove myself to SHIELD? I even told him about the Hydra agents and he flipped it around like I was the bad guy!” 

“What do you mean about the Hydra agents?” 

“He asked how I found you, so I told him and then he made it seem like I was in the wrong for not telling SHIELD.” James’ blood was boiling at this point. He was trying to do what he thought was right. He was trying to save Natalia but all Fury saw was the fact that he knew where Hydra agents were. 

“Hey,” Natalia soothed. “Stop. Just stop. There’s nothing to get worked up about. You’re here. I’m here. Not much else matters to me.” 

“Until they try to arrest me. Probably on some trumped up charge of treason,” James whispered. 

“They won’t do that,” Natalia said, closing her eyes. For a quick second she squeezed his hand reassuring him. “And if they do we’ll run.” 

“Run?!” James repeated. “You’d give up everything here if you ran. You’d give up SHIELD.” 

“I’ve give up everything for you, James Buchanan Barnes. Haven’t you figured that out yet,” Natalia smiled. 

“Move over,” James whispered. That woman never failed to amaze him. She didn’t even give it a second thought when she told him she’d run with him. 

He wasn’t exactly sure how but the both of them managed to fit on the hospital bed. Well Nat was mostly on top of him, almost curled into his side. “I missed this,” she almost hummed. 

“Yeah me too,” James laughed. “I’m still kinda pissed you sent me away. You should have told me.” 

“I should have,” Natalia said. “But I couldn’t let them take you. I made a judgment call. I’m sorry.” 

He wanted to yell. He wanted to tell her that she could have gotten herself killed, but he thought she knew all of that already. She knew what she was getting into when she told him to go to Steve’s. More than anything he was struggling to fathom what happened to her in there. Part of him didn’t want to think about it, the other part consumed him. Natalia didn’t seem to even react when he traced his fingers over the stiches. 

“I know,” James breathed. It was all he could manage to say. 

He wasn’t sure how long they laid there like that, all he was sure of is that for the first time in three week James was completely relaxed. He was pretty sure that Natalia had fallen asleep though. Her breathing was finally regular and she wasn’t leaning into his touch like usual. His hand lightly trailed up and down arm just long enough to get her to relax. 

“Look Buck,” Steve said. “I can only hold them off…” He stopped midsentence staring at the two of them on the bed. Nat looked almost like a cat, curled up into a ball. 

“Don’t wake her,” Bucky whispered back. “It took me forever to get her to go back to sleep.” 

“Look SHIELD wants to talk to her. I can’t hold them off much longer.” 

“She just got out of surgery,” Bucky reasoned. “Can’t they give her a couple minutes?” The door swung open, rattling against the wall as Fury and a few men in black storm through the door. “I guess not.”


	4. Chapter Four:

The noise of the door, startled Natalia awake and it was almost like she had no idea where she was. Everything was blurry and she could barely make out any figures. She began to try to get up as if she were going to fight the entire force of them. 

A cool hand rested on her shoulder, pushing her back into the bed and the body next to her. “You’re okay,” James whispered. “I’m right here.” 

“Well isn’t this charming,” Fury almost sang, gazing at Bucky and Natalia cuddling. 

“What do you want?” Bucky growled. 

“Her,” Fury said. “Just for a few minutes. If we could have the room?”

“Over my dead body,” Bucky snapped. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

“Mr. Barnes, if you could please cooperate with us. We mean no harm.” 

“You realize even in this position we could take all of you. I mean, you know that, right?” 

“James,” Natalia scolded. “That’s enough.” 

“I’m not wrong,” James jokes in Russian. 

“I didn’t say you were,” she responded back in Russian. 

“Are you done?” Fury snapped.

“What can I do for you, Sir?” Natalia tried to sit up, pushing off of James. It took near all of her self-control not to wince as she sat up but she heard one slip out. 

“I would love for you to come visit headquarters when you have a free minute. I feel there are some things that need to be addressed.” He paused for a second, purposefully eyeing up Bucky. “Many things.”

She forced a smile at Fury. “Of course, Sir.” 

“Excellent. Today I hope, Natasha.” 

“Of course, Sir,” she repeated. It sounded as if she were reading out of a drill manual. 

“Alone, would be preferred.” 

To this Natalia had no response. She couldn’t have even mustered up a quick smile or a simple retort. Instead her stomach sunk even further down and it felt like she was going to be sick. 

“Captain,” Fury addressed stepping out of the room, along with his entire entourage. 

“Okay, I’ve held my tongue long enough,” Steve growled the second the door closed. “What in the world is going on here?” 

“What are you talking about?” Natalia didn’t even try to brace herself as she fell back into Bucky’s waiting arms. 

“You, Buck and Fury. Something is going on and I want to know what.” Steve heard his blood pounding in his ears. He was sick of the secrets. He knew that Buck and Nat would always have something that he could even understand. He came to grips with that a long time ago. But this was different. This was something that was an ever-present issue. He knew that Fury could be an asshole, but this was an entirely different side of Fury. 

“Steve, maybe you’re the one who needs some sleep man. You sound off,” Bucky laughed. As if nothing had just happened, he started absent mindedly started running his fingers over Nat’s arm. 

The two of them would never cease to amaze Steve. Nat had already started to sprawl over Bucky and seemed like she was headed back to sleep. Steve was about to drop it but he knew that he was right, and he knew there would be no better time than now. Nat was half drugged up and Buck might just be distracted enough that one of them might let something slide. 

“No. What in the hell is going on?” 

“Don’t you dare,” Nat warned in Russian. 

“He has a right to know,” James responded in English. 

“Goddamn you, James!” 

“I have a right to know what?” 

“Nothing,” Natalia snapped back at Steve. 

“Nat,” James started.

“No.” 

“Babe…” 

“Oh, I don’t think so. You don’t get to ‘babe’ your way out of this one. You knew what you were doing the second it came out of your mouth!” 

Bucky slid out from underneath her walking to the far corner of the room. It was clear that they were about to blow up. Her voice was wrong, Steve thought. He expected it to be annoyed. He expected it to be slightly irritated. This wasn’t either of those two things. This was angry, this was bordering on irate. 

The face that Bucky made was almost out of a sitcom. He threw his hands up in the air and scrunched his face together for a split second. “Nat,” James started in Russian. “I don’t like lying to him and he needs to know.” 

“He does not need to know! Do you know what will happen if he finds out? All of our hard work. All of his hard work to get to his position. Everything goes out the window. You slipped on purpose.” 

“It was an accident! I haven’t slept in three weeks!” 

“We both know it wasn’t,” she growled switching back to English. “We made it several years without Hydra finding out that we were together but you expect me to believe that you slipped up and forgot to speak Russian?” 

“What do you want me to say, Natalia?” 

“Fuck it,” she yelled. “Tell him. It’s not like he won’t find out soon enough anyway.” 

“Tell me what,” Steve repeated. 

“So Hydra is planning on exposing a dirty bomb, in DC,” Bucky said as calmly as if a waiter was asking if for his order. 

“I’m sorry. Wanna run that by me again?” 

“Oh yeah. You heard me right. And it gets better cause remember how I have those fun little words that make me pretty much a highly motivated killing zombie?” 

Natalia dropped her head down on to the pillow. She didn’t want to hear. She couldn’t stand when James talked about himself that way. He had to know it wasn’t his fault. None of this was his fault. 

“How could I forget?” Steve almost laughed. 

“Well as it turns out the last time they put me under they had me steal all of the plans for the mass transportation, like subways, buses, airports. The fun stuff or you know the stuff that Hydra loves to expel dirty bombs on. Lots of people, not a lot of exits.”

“And when did you remember what they had you do?” 

“What would you say, Nat? Three months ago?” 

They both looked over but she was curled up into a ball, with the blankets covering ever inch of her. Steve went to walk over to her but Bucky puts his arm out to stop him. He knew Nat better than anyone alive. Buck knew just to leave her for a minute when she got like this. 

“I’d say about three months ago. So naturally I told SHIELD, trying to right my wrongs and then Fury accuses me of being in on it. Look, no offense, but I don’t know if SHIELD agents are just extremely dumb or what but I’d have to be pretty stupid to walk up to the head of SHIELD and be like here’s my master plan.” 

“But he thinks it’s like a double cover,” Steve sighed. Now everything was starting to make sense. “Fury might think you told him on purpose to throw him off the scent of you.” 

“No,” Bucky grimaced. “I told him because I don’t want anyone else to die because of me. There’s been too much death on my hands and I want to stop this. I have to stop this!” 

“So how does Nat fit in to all of this?” 

“Well she’s with me so naturally she’s also part of the plan. Or worse, she’s with me and doesn’t know. Either way, it’s just because she’s connected to me. Now Fury’s suspicious of everything either one of us do.” 

“And Nat goes into full protection mode on account of it’s you,” Steve sighed, figuring it all out for himself. 

“More or less,” Bucky laughed. 

“So how do we stop this?” 

“Whoa, no, no. You don’t do anything. You can’t get roped into this. Fury already doesn’t trust us. We can’t have anyone else get ruined because of this.” 

“And I can’t let innocent people die because someone can’t let go of a stupid prejudice.” 

“Steve, look…” 

“Till the end of the line. That was our deal. I’m tied to your wagon till the end of the line, pal,” Steve reasoned. “Your fight is my fight. People do not need to suffer because of bureaucratic bullshit.”

“Fine,” Bucky sighed. 

“So what now?” Steve asked. 

“Honestly, I don’t know. I’ll I’m concerned with is her. I would like her out of the hospital before we make any rash decisions.” 

Bucky crossed back over the room, pulling a chair back up to the hospital bed. The blanket covered up Natalia’s head but he didn’t need to see her face to know what was going on. 

He knew she hated when he talked about his Winter Soldier days like that. It was easier for him to almost disassociate himself and make jokes about it when he talked to other people. He knew damn well when it came down to it there was no way he could separate himself from the terrible acts he committed, whether he was mentally present or not. For him a snide comment or joke here or there was the only way that he was able to deal with it. 

He also knew she had some serious amounts of drugs in her, which wasn’t helping anything. Natalia had been tortured for three weeks straight she had to be tired.

Bucky went to stand up to grab a water bottle out of the machine but just as he did a small cold hand grabbed his. She didn’t remove the blanket from her head, it barely even looked like she was breathing but Natalia knew exactly where he was in the room. “Don’t you dare leave me.”

“And where do you think I’m gunna go,” he laughed back. 

“Please,” she whispered. To anyone else it wouldn’t have made any sense, but he wasn’t anyone. He knew exactly what she was trying to tell him. 

She didn’t like waking up on her own. She never had but especially after Hydra. It was terrifying to wake up alone after the things they would do to her. Even if it was just a handler in the room, at least she wasn’t alone with her thoughts then. 

It was something she never got over. Natalia was at her calmest in the morning. It was always their limbs tangled in each other. It didn’t matter who woke up first, it never did. They waited patiently for the other to wake just for so they wouldn’t wake alone. It was a small gesture, but it meant the world to her. 

“Okay,” he hummed sitting back down. “Your face is much prettier when a blanket isn’t covering it.” 

She moved the blanket down so that just her eyes were showing and ever that was enough to take his breath away. Her green eyes pierced into his soul and if it was the last thing that he ever saw, he’d be okay with it. He leaned up just enough to kiss the top of her forehead, “Hey…” he started. 

“Me too,” Nat finished for him. She didn’t need him to say anything. Sometimes the words wouldn’t come out right or even how to start what they needed to say but it didn’t matter. All it took was a look, a hug, anything and they knew exactly what they other person was saying. 

“I love you,” James whispered, grabbing her hand. 

Bucky wasn’t sure if he fell asleep in the hospital room or if he just lost track of time. He looked up to see Natalia sound asleep, her hand still intertwined with his. Steve was nodding off in the corner of the room, attempting to use the wall as a pillow. 

It wasn’t like Bucky to wake up out of the blue. He looked around search for something, anything that could have woken him up. That’s when he saw them, a man in black sliding in front of the door. It wasn’t the usual black garb of SHIELD, which only meant one other option – Hydra. 

“Son of a bitch,” Bucky snarled.


	5. Chapter Five:

Chapter Five:

“Steve,” Bucky whispered. Steve started to groan, slowly starting to wake up. “Steve!” This time Bucky said it loud enough to wake him up. 

“What?” Steve asked. He sounded irritated like he wanted to stay asleep. If he was irritated Bucky couldn’t imagine what he was going to be like when he told him. 

“We’ve got a slight issue.” 

“What kind of an issue?” 

The gunfire was almost deafening. From the sound of it, Bucky could make out at lease three different guns, which means three different gunmen – most likely. In a heart beat James was on top of Natalia, covering her from everything. Steve picked up his shield and jumped in front of the two of them. 

“Any ideas?” Steve yelled. 

“My best guess is Hydra,” Buck shouted back.

“James!” Natalia screamed over the gunfire. “What is going on?” 

“Just stay here,” he assured her. 

“Buck, we gotta take that door or they’re coming in.” 

“Go, I’m right behind you.” 

He stood up and turned to go to the door. When a small hand grabs his again. He expected her to say something like ‘be careful’ or ‘don’t leave’ or even her getting up and following them. Instead she took him completely by surprise. “Don’t hold back,” she snarled. 

“Don’t move,” James smirked. “Steve and I have got this.” 

In a matter of minutes the two of them had managed to subdue the onslaught of gunmen coming through the door. James was being extremely aggressive, more than usual and from the look on Steve’s face he noticed too. One of them made a sizeable dent on the door as he was tossed into it. 

Bucky didn’t feel getting shot, it didn’t even faze him but the blood on his hand stopped him. At first he didn’t think it was his, but then it just kept coming. It took Nat about a half a second to notice, just at he thought it might. In an instance she was out of the bed rushing towards him. 

“James,” she shouted. 

“I’m fine,” he tried to assure her. He knew her well enough she’d want to look at herself.

Steve’s look said everything without a word. He was concerned for Buck’s well being too but Steve wasn’t going to crowd him to find out the answer. 

Bucky simply rolled his eyes back at him. “Nat,” Bucky said grabbing her shoulders. “Out of all the things I’ve been through in life, I think a nick from getting shot is the least of my problems.” 

“I want to see if you need stitches,” she reasoned grabbing his arm back. She didn’t care if he was near indestructible. It still tore her in half when she saw him bleed. By the look of the wound a few stitches probably wouldn’t have killed him but if bandaged it would probably be okay without hem. “You could cover it.” 

“With what?” Bucky sighed. 

“We’re in a hospital, James. Be resourceful.” 

“Look, not to interrupt but we should probably get out of her,” Steve instructed. The two of them were like an old married couple and if they weren’t kind of adorable with each other Steve might have found it irritating. It was hard not too find them adorable; Bucky and Nat cared for each other in a way that he could barely comprehend. 

“He’s right,” Bucky said finally taking his arm out of Natalia’s grip. “We should split up. It’s too easy to track all three of us together. All separate, we’ve got a much better chance of disappearing.” 

“No,” Natalia growled. 

“No? What do you mean no?” Bucky questioned. 

“We’re not splitting up.” 

“I’m sorry but wasn’t this your exact reason for sending me to Steve’s and getting yourself kidnapped? That we’re too easy to track together? The exact reason we’re now in this shit show? Am I missing something!?” Bucky challenged. 

“We go to SHIELD,” she countered. 

“You go to SHIELD,” Buck said. “I’ll disappear for a couple days.” 

“No,” she repeated. “You’re coming with us.” 

“Natalia,” Steve cut in. “You know that’s not an easy task.” 

“James comes with us or I don’t move and then the two of you have to continue to kill people that are trying to kill the both of us.” 

“I want him there, you know that. You can’t exactly blame them for not wanting a highly trained assassin who they don’t completely trust in their headquarters. No offense Buck,” Steve said slapping him on the shoulder. 

“None taken.” 

“He’s coming,” Natalia spat.

“Nat, I need you to save you. I’ll be fine, I always am.” That smile could have made her go weak at the knees. He looked so innocent like a little puppy, but it didn’t matter because she wasn’t leaving him here to get kidnapped. They had just gotten themselves out of that situation. She didn’t want to go back in. 

“No,” she growled. “James comes.” 

“SHIELD is not as forgiving as you or I might be. They don’t like assassins. Again, no offense.” 

“They took me in!” 

“You didn’t try to kill any of us.” 

“Well…” she whispered. “That’s not exactly true.” 

“What do you mean by ‘not exactly true’?” 

“I might have been ordered to kill you, you know like way back in the day.” 

“What?!” The two of them spun almost on a dime and getting James to SHIELD was no longer the main point of concern. 

“When?” Steve yelled. 

“1996. In New York.” 

“Why is this the first I’m hearing about this?” Steve growled. 

“Calm down, super soldier. Don’t you think if I meant you any harm I would have done it already,” Natalia replied. 

“1996,” James said slowly. “Was it after…” He can’t even finish his sentence and she thanks whatever sick twisted god is above that he said it in Russian. Steve looked baffled but James and Natalia were on the same page. They were always on the same page. 

“Yes.” 

“Yes, what?” By now Steve’s patience had gone out the window, his blood almost seemed to be boiling. “Call me crazy but I would like to know what the hell is going on by a) Why did you try to kill me and more importantly b) How am I still alive. I’ve seen you make impossible shots. If you wanted me dead…” 

“I spared you life. I made a judgment call. I had you in my sights, literally in the crosshairs and I couldn’t take the shot.” 

“Why?” she expected the question out of Steve but it was James who spoke. He couldn’t even look over at her; his one hand was shaking almost uncontrollably. 

“There was a little girl, no more than seven. You saved her. Do you remember?” 

“I think so. She was looking for her mom? And she ran towards the road. There was a semi.” 

“You grabbed her, scooped her up and put up the shield. You saved her life. A little girl. She had blonde hair, almost white and she cried. She was so scared and you found her mom.” By now the tears were in the corners of her eyes, barely able to keep herself pulled together. 

James still couldn’t look up from the ground and Steve was almost more confused than when they started the conversation. He couldn’t grasp why this one little girls life meant so much, meant that Natalia didn’t make a shot he knew she could do in her sleep. 

She couldn’t look at Steve anymore, she didn’t even want to look at herself. In a few somewhat graceful strides she made her way over the window. The IV in her arm, was almost trying to pull her back to the bed but she wouldn’t have it. 

“I…I don’t understand.” 

“In early 1996 we were in a village near Siberia,” James started. “It was a simple mission but there was a small group of men in the village who had an idea we were coming. It was me, Nat, and two other soldiers. We were clearing the village and,” he paused clearing his throat. “Disposing of those who got in our way. We were only there for one man. Nat and I were in a group together and the other two were in another group. We were the best of the best so we took the inside they were going to take the outer rim.” 

“We had just cleaned the middle and were headed to the house that the target lived in when Nat got shot. Not anything bad, just a graze. Honestly it barely even broke the skin. She turned and shot at what shot at her. She is trained to be able to make that shot. To not know exactly where the target was but to adjust as the shot happens. We both are. It was required in the training. Neither one of us knew what happened until it was too late.” 

James didn’t need to finish the story for Steve to know what happened. “It was a little girl,” Steve whispered.


	6. Chapter Six:

Nat didn’t even move, from where Steve was standing he couldn’t even tell if she was breathing. “She was standing over her father,” Natalia whispered almost inaudibly. “Someone I had just killed. He was trying to protect his neighbor and I shot him and snapped his neck. I saw the little girl in the house. She was hiding behind the table. I left her there. She was just a little girl.” 

“She walked out by her father and picked up the pistol and shot.” Natalia started to cry. 

Bucky stood up dragging her into his arms as she bawled into his shoulder. For Steve the both of them were invincible, to see them like this almost felt wrong. 

“You didn’t know it was her?” Steve whispered. 

“We had no idea,” Bucky replied. “The little girl fell to the ground in a single shot and Nat was almost frozen. She knew what had happened and so did I but we also knew the other two were too close. We weren’t really allowed emotions, well unless it was aggression. If the wrong people found out that she crying or upset she’d have to go to the Red Room. No one ever wants to go to the Red Room and then for shits and giggles after they unmade her, they’d make her kill another little girl. She’d have to keep doing it until she didn’t react.” 

“That’s sadistic,” Steve spat. 

“I know. But that’s how we’re trained. Mindless soldiers who don’t question anything, not even killing a little kid.” 

“It was during clean up. I sent the other two ahead so that they could deliver the package. We told them we would be along shortly. I think they knew something was wrong right then and there. I don’t know if they figured out something was going on between me and Nat or if they knew about the kid. Either one wasn’t good though. Either one of them would have gotten us both punished. It took a little bit of convincing but they left.” 

“James did most of the cleanup, I was too…” Natalia paused trying to find the right words. “I found her in the snow, not that I could forget where she was. The blood was everywhere, coating the snow, her hands, her hair, her jacket. She was still alive when I walked up. I hit her in the gut, not a clean shot. I laid there with her brushing her hair back and telling her it was going to be okay. I don’t think she believed me. I couldn’t help but cry. She was so little.” Nat’s voice choked a bit but it’s almost as if she swallows is back down trying to not let herself feel. 

“She wasn’t going to make it. There was too much blood and not enough time to get her anywhere. James came up and told me it was time to go, any longer and we’d attract too much attention when we returned. I told her to close her eyes and that everything would be okay. I stabbed her in the heart. I didn’t want her to suffer in the snow.” 

“So the little girl in London?” Steve asked. “She reminded you of that little girl, the one you…” 

Bucky’s glare was enough to make his blood run cold. It was clear that Buck wanted this conversation to be over as soon a humanly possible. 

“They sent me after you as payback,” Natalia said quietly. 

“What do you mean as payback? Payback to who?” Steve asked. 

“Me,” James replies. “My memories were starting to come back, a side effect of being awake for too long. Or at least that’s what they said. I remembered you. Not necessary everything but I knew that I knew you and I slipped up. I said your name, not Captain America, I said Steve. They had never told us your name and it all kinda went downhill from there.” 

“You knew me?” Steve stuttered and if he weren’t holding Nat, Steve would have probably hugged Buck right then and there. It took so much work for Bucky to remember Steve the first time around. Now that Steve really thought about it, Buck didn’t start to improve until Nat came around. But he hadn’t known then, but now it all makes sense. 

“Yeah, I did. In 1996,” Buck laughed. “But uh, they knew that I knew who you were so they came in the middle of the night. I didn’t remember slipping up and so I didn’t know they were coming. When you get to a certain level they let you live an apartment. Nat came over that night, of course it had to be that night. We got in a fight and she ended up staying the night.” 

“They tore me out of the bed, literally by my hair. I don’t think they knew it was me at first, just that there was a body in the bed. But once they knew it was me, shit hit the fan. We tried to fight our way out of there but there were too many of them and one of them tranquilized me. Even with the enhanced cells, it still effected me,” Natalia whispered. By the look on her face is almost like she was reliving the night. She looked like she had seen a ghost. 

“They took us back to base and we knew we were fucked. Like there was gunna be no coming out of this and we both knew it as we were paraded in front of the handler’s. They made me watch,” Natalia’s voice cracked. “They made me watch as they frozen him. I fought with every fiber of my being to get to him. But I couldn’t break free, they had learned how to subdue us when they needed too.” 

“Right before they put me under they told me that they were going to kill you,” Buck said to Steve. “By then, I was strapped down and I couldn’t go anywhere even if I needed to and then my handler whispered just loud enough that I could hear him that he was going to make my girl do it. I couldn’t react, I was too stunned to do anything. All I remember is Nat’s screams, almost blood curdling.” 

“They basically tortured me until I was obedient again, which took about six solid months. Then they sent me over to kill you. Everything came flooding back when you saved that little girl. You did what I couldn’t do and I couldn’t take your life. I knew about you and James and after what I witnessed I couldn’t do it.” 

“So you missed on purpose?” 

“Of course I did. I don’t miss very often. I’ve seen what that shield could do, so I put two rounds in it and told my handler’s I didn’t have the shot.” 

“SHIELD never told you?” James questions. “They never told you that we were trying to kill you?” 

“No, I remember getting shot at but they said it was an isolated incident and that Barton had taken care of the…problem.” Steve slows down as it starts to all clicks in his head. 

“And who brought me in,” Nat jokes. 

“Son of a bitch,” Steve curses. 

“Sorry bud,” Buck says stepping away from Nat for the first time since she started crying. “You were always one to believe what you were told.” 

“Shut up,” Steve laughs. “It’s good to have you back Buck.” 

“Yeah, it’s good to be back.” 

“Not to break up this love fest but based on the amount of men in black that just entered the building we’re about it have some issues,” Natalia interrupts. 

“How many?” 

“Seven. They all looked armed. James…” Natalia drifts off.

“I’ll be fine.” 

“I need you. You can’t disappear.” 

“I’m not going anywhere.” 

“Just come to SHIELD. They’re going to want to know how I got away anyways. Fury’s not going to believe me if I just say Cap.” 

“I’ll cuff me or worse put me in a box.” 

“I won’t let them,” Natalia pleads. “They’re not Hydra. The listen to us.” 

“Except when they tried to kill us.” 

“They thought you killed a King!” 

“And I said I didn’t do that anymore!” 

“They know that…now. Please.” 

“Nat, I…” 

The popping of gunfire cut off their conversation and in an instant the three of them completely switched to survival mode. It felt terrible as she ripped the IV out of her arm, luckily the enhanced cells meant quick healing time – her body was going to have to deal. 

“Buck,” Steve yells tossing him a knife. “Make yourself useful.” 

“Nat,” James says tossing the exact same knife to Natalia. “You need this more than I do.” 

“What about you?” She screams back at him. She wasn’t sure if over the gunfire he could hear her but by the smile on his face, she’d take that as a yes. 

“Arm and gun,” he response. Before she even has a chance to ask what he means a pulls a gun out of his boot. “Did you honestly think I’d come unprepared? How long have you known me, Nat? I just got you back. I’m not loosing you any time soon.”

In the matter of a few glances and hand motions the three of them were strategically placed around the room, ready for whatever might come through that door. “Fury cleared the floor, right?” Natalia yells. 

“As soon as you got here,” James yells back at her in Russian. 

It might not have been his first language but he spoke it flawlessly. Part of her thought that that was one part of his old self that he would never be able to shake. Almost without fail, if it came to a fight James would speak in Russian. She didn’t mind, honestly more than anything it calmed her. This was no different then any other time, just a few new players. 

The first one through the door was simple enough; Steve took him down with easy as the blow from his shield was enough to knock the poor kid out. After that everything started to blur together. The chaos had never made her fuzzy before; it couldn’t in her line of work. She was blaming it on the morphine the nurses insisted on giving her. 

Regardless, she was able to disarm one man and with James’ help toss him through the glass window behind them. Within seconds another man was on James’ back and she had her legs around his throat dropping him to the ground in a after a few seconds. By the time she looked up, James and Steve were both finished with their attackers and staring at her. 

“What?” 

“You still do that,” James laughs. 

“Do what?” 

“The vice grip with the legs.” 

“Wait, you know about that,” Steve asks. “That’s like her move. I don’t even understand how her body moves like that.” 

“Yes, I know that move. I taught it too her.” 

“It has not failed me yet so I continue to use it,” Natalia chuckles. 

“It’s time to go,” Steve says. “We’ve been here too long. They know exactly where to find us.” 

“Your arm,” James says rushing to Natalia side. 

She hadn’t even felt it until right then but the warm red sticky goo was running down her arm. It had to have been from the IV cause no one got close enough to her to do that kind of damage. James and Steve had made sure that she was positioned as far back in the room as possible. 

Normally she would have argued with them but the 12 stiches in her side had something else to say about that. “It’s fine,” she assured both of them. “It will stop bleeding soon enough.” 

“Where to?” Steve asks. He asked it looking at Nat, but they all knew they question was Bucky’s to answer. 

“Trust me,” Natalia says. 

“I trust you and Steve. I don’t trust SHIELD.” 

“You have to give them a chance.” 

“And if they lock me into a cell and throw away the key,” For Steve’s sake he switched to Russian. This was between him and Nat. Steve could try all he wanted but he would never understand the “Winter Solider” part of him. The only one who did was Natalia. She was there for all of it. She was the one who brought him out of that headspace. She was the one who taught him how to be human when all Hydra wanted was to make him a machine. “Because I deserve for that to happen to me and you know it!” By now all of his usual calm is gone and he started to scream at her. 

Natalia knew him better than most; she knew what this was about. It had very little to do with SHIELD, maybe in affect to shield but this was about him. “You didn’t do those things.” Her voice was barely above a whisper. She knew only getting loud with him wouldn’t solve anything and they didn’t have time to waste. “You were programmed. All it took where those words and you weren’t you. I would know. I looked into your eyes you weren’t there. You have to know that.” 

“I killed people. I remember every single one of them.” 

“It wasn’t you, James.” 

“I still did it.” 

“Then let me help you.” 

“And SHIELD is the answer?!” 

“For right now, yes!” 

“Look, English would be great right about now,” Steve interjects. “I don’t know what this is about but we really got to move. I don’t care where but not here.” 

“Please James, I’m begging you. SHIELD won’t hurt you. I need you.” 

“Do you have any other reason besides ‘I need you’?” 

Natalia stared at him for a second and a million different reasons popped into her brain. ‘They’ll take you if stay behind’, ‘I need you’, ‘I need someone I trust implicitly’. She had a million of them but only one really seemed to matter to her. “I love you and they can’t take you away from me if they tried. Whether that’s SHIELD or Hydra, I don’t care,” Natalia reasons in Russian. 

“Okay,” James finally conceded. 

“Oh thank sweet baby Jesus,” she exclaimed. 

“That’s a yes?” Steve questioned. “We’re going to SHIELD?” 

“We’re going to SHIELD,” Bucky replied through his teeth.


	7. Chapter Seven:

“Find me some clothes,” Natalia instructed. 

“We can stop and home and get you some,” Bucky assured her. “There’s nothing we can do now.” 

“So we’re making a stop at your apartment,” Steve questioned. 

“There’s not time to do that James,” Nat reasoned. “We need to go straight to SHIELD.” 

“Babe, I think we can spare a few minutes to get you properly clothed.” 

“Don’t you think that Hydra already has our place staked out?” 

“I have a place we could go,” Buck mutters. “Hydra doesn’t know about it, actually no one knows about it.”

“What are you talking about?” Steve cuts in. “Do the two of you have a secret safe house that you’ve hid from SHIELD?” 

“That’s a very good question,” Natalia growled. “Because I do not know of any such safe house. James, care to explain?” 

Natalia looked like she was trying to stare daggers into his head. She had her hand balled up by her side and it almost looked like she was shaking. 

“It was just for emergencies. Like I don’t know if Hydra was looking for us. We would have somewhere to go, to run.” 

“Don’t you dare turn this around on me,” Natalia screamed. “You were the one who didn’t even tell me about it. Do you not trust me?!” 

“Of course, I trust you. How can you even ask me that question?” 

“What is our fucking only rule, James?” She didn’t give him a chance to answer before spinning back at him. “No secrets.” 

“Nat,” Bucky started. “Can we not do this now? Can we just go to house and then go to SHIELD or whatever is it that you want to do.”

She wanted to scream. She wanted to cry. She wanted to hit someone. She couldn’t believe that he lied to her. That he didn’t tell her about this house. How could he have not told her?   
She told him everything, literally everything. Even the things about herself that she didn’t like to talk about. But it’s James and he wanted to know; he always wanted to know. They told each other everything or at least so she thought. What else wasn’t he telling her? 

“Fine.” The words came out of her mouth like venom. She didn’t even want to talk to him. She stormed out of the door walking out into the hallway. 

“You’re a dead man,” Steve chuckles looking at Buck. 

“I am more than aware of the situation. Thank you though for the reminder,” Bucky growled. 

“Why didn’t you tell her?” 

“Just stop talking,” Buck yelled chased after Natalia. “Here take my sweatshirt.” 

“I’m fine,” she gritted through her teeth. 

“Nat, you’re literally in a hospital gown. I don’t care if you’re mad at me, just please take the frickin’ sweatshirt.” 

She hated to admit he was right but she was pretty limited in her options. She snatched the sweatshirt out of his hands and threw it on over the gown. “Let’s go. Lead the way, Barnes.”

Being called his last name cut him to the core. She only used it when she was mad, almost on fuming. He knew Steve caught it too, based on the look that Bucky received. 

“We’re going to need a ride,” Nat stated.

“Already handled,” Steve assured her. “Barton and Sam are on the way. They’ve got a car for us. I called them earlier. They wanted to see you and now it’s going to work out in our favor.” 

They silently stood in the lobby of the hospital waiting for their friends to arrive. Minus the few odd stares that Bucky received for his arm it basically went without incident. Natalia barely even looked over Buck the entire time instead she stared pointedly out the window, waiting for their ride. 

Steve couldn’t figure out one single reason why Bucky wouldn’t tell Nat about the house. She was right, they didn’t keep secrets from each other. They never had, so why would he start now. They only reason he could think of is if Bucky had someone else, another woman and that’s where they hid. But that wasn’t Bucky’s style. He had seen the way Bucky looked at Nat; it was like a kid on Christmas morning, every single time he looked at her. There was no way that he was cheating on her. But Steve couldn’t figure it out. 

“Hey kids,” Sam said storming in the door. He ran up to Nat picking her up and quickly spinning her around in a circle. “We were worried about you. How are you feeling?” 

“I’m good. Thanks for coming for us, honey. We owe you.” 

“You know one of these days, I might cash that favor in,” Sam chuckled. 

“Hey, Tasha,” Clint almost hummed. “How’s your head?” 

“Feels like it’s being split open,” Nat laughed. 

“Yeah, the anesthetic had that effect on me too. It will fade.” 

“Guys, we gotta go,” Bucky cut it.

She thought about turning and yelling or even just giving him a look but she decided not to even give him the satisfaction of that. All five of them grumbled starting to walk to the car. Out of sheer instinct Bucky went to grab Nat’s hand but she ripped it out of his hand faster than he thought possible. “Do not touch me,” she muttered in Russian. 

“What the hell is that all about,” Sam asked Steve under his breath. 

“Don’t ask.” 

The ride was near silent except for Bucky barking out directions, and Sam and Bucky bickering about some sports team. 

“This is it,” Bucky called out after about a half hour ride. “Just give me and Nat a second, okay? We will be right down.” 

She wanted to be petty. She wanted to tell them all to come but she didn’t feel like arguing. Instead she silently got out of the car, slamming the door behind her. 

“Seriously what is up with the two of them,” Barton asked. 

“It’s a long story,” Steve sighed, watching them disappearing into the building. 

She couldn’t believe how many times she had passed by this building, she knew exactly where they were. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” The words were cold, almost separate outside of her body. 

“Give me three seconds and it will all make sense.” 

“Enough with the damn riddles, James. Just tell me! Are you cheating on me? Do you not trust me? Are you leaving me? What is it?! I can’t think of any reason you wouldn’t tell me expect for those reasons. And if that’s it, then just tell me. I can take it!” The words hurt coming out of her mouth. It wasn’t true. She couldn’t take it; even the thought of it caused tears to stream down her face. She was refusing to move. She needed answers.

“How could you even think those things,” Bucky sighed pulling her into his arms. She tried to fight her way out of them but he wouldn’t let her. Instead just pulling her in tighter. “I will never leave you. No person in the world could tear me away from you.” 

“Then why?” She sobbed. She felt so betrayed. It wasn’t like him to lie to her. She honestly couldn’t even come up with an instance when he had. Maybe that was why this one was hitting her like a run away truck. 

“It’s not done yet,” James whispered as the keys jingled against the lock. “That’s why I didn’t tell you. It’s not finished and I wanted to surprise you.” 

“What do you mean it’s not done? It’s a safe house…” 

James opened the door for her and she realized this was like no safe house she had ever seen. Usually they’re dark and dingy and only filled with the necessities. 

This wasn’t like those other safe house, this one looked like home. It looked faintly like their apartment. She gasped walking into the room. Everything was perfect as if he has read her mind when putting it together. The living room walls were a dark blue and light gray. The kitchen had everything that she could have ever wanted to cook a thousand diners in. 

“James,” she breathed unable to say anything else. 

“Do you like it?” 

“It’s…” she paused spinning around taking everything in. “It’s perfect. How…How did you do all of this?” 

“It was before you were taken, when you were on mission in Romania. This was supposed to be your surprise for when you got back. Just a place that only the two of us knew about. That if something happened we didn’t have to run, well not all that far at least. It could also just be our spot when we didn’t want anyone to find us.”   
“James, I can’t believe this.”

“There’s one more part thing you might like in the bedroom.” He grabbed her hand, leading her around the corner. The bedroom was a simple cream color with a bright blue bedspread, but that wasn’t drew her attention. There was almost a floor to ceiling canvas of a beach with a few palm trees and a hammock. 

“It’s like the one from Aruba,” he smiles. “I went back and found that picture. Sam helped me find someone who makes it into this. Do you like it?” 

She was crying again but this time it wasn’t because she was scared or upset. This time it was because she was so happy that she couldn’t contain herself. “It’s so wonderful, James. I don’t know how you did all of this.” 

“I just thought to myself, what does Nat want the most? And I came up with this.” 

“I can’t think of anything more amazing,” she hummed. “James, this is…” 

He was waiting for her to turn back around because this is why it wasn’t finished. He was kneeling before her, waiting to ask the question that he never thought he would be able to ask anyone. 

“Natalia, you literally are my other half in every single sense of the word. You turned me from a weapon that barely remembered how to be human into the man I am today. You make me feel things that I didn’t even know were possible to experience. Will you be my wife?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might be a little bit before the next chapter. Got a lot going on right now. Sorry in advance.


End file.
